blackrimglasses

I knew something was up today, when, on the way into work, I was thwarted from making a left into the Burger King where I customarily get my diet coke. They were doing construction, and hence the right lane leading into the drive was blocked. I thought to myself, “this indeed is strange,” while I made a u-turn and proceeded to try to enter from the opposite direction.

I was thwarted again. I need the diet coke. It is 44 oz of Wake the Fuck Up You Asshole. Over two pounds of pure, liquid kick in the nuts to get going. I was desperate.

I make my way to Burbank, get off at Buena Vista and think: must find soda.

Down Riverside I go, past Bob’s Bigboy, past Warner Bros. Studios. I’m in Reseda I think when I find a McDonalds. Nevermind the stupid woman blocking the drive through entrance. She was dealt with. Diet coke. My mouth. Liquid alarm clock.

All is well.

Work was fine. The standard things that go wrong did go wrong, including my programmer being out, a hurried staff meeting, a music star who should not be associated with anythign equine. Usual stuff. And then….

The Internet goes down.

I’ve been in a few companies in my life that were dependent either on the nascent Internet or the established Internet for their business. Whenever that network goes down (which it did with impunity and frequency in the nascent days, circa 1995-1997), the reaction is always in a similar format:

1) Questioning: is it just me? Is it just this site? Is it my computer? I shall try another site. Wait, AIM is down too, mail is down. Maybe if I restart?

2) Verification: I shall call up an office mate, and see if their Internet is down. It is? Maybe the entire Internet is having problems, so I will now call up my husband/wife/girlfriend/dog/friend to see if they can get to any web pages.

3) Panic: Oh my god, what if our entire website and most importantly, all the stores are down! Begin urgent calls to loved ones to make sure profit generation mechanisms are still operational. Commence running through halls, throwing furniture, crying and smashing into walls.

4) Impatience: A call to the helpdesk. The Internet might be down until tomorow?

5) Acceptance: Well, nothing I can do about it, oh well. Begin playing computer game.

6) Escapism: Since my job depends on the Internet, I might as well go into the halls and go chat with people.

7) Regression: Fuck this. If the Internet is down, I might as well go home!

Trepadation: I don’t want to be the first one to leave, so I’ll wait until I see someone else do it.

9) Caution: waiting.

10) Moment of Inertia: Someone is leaving! I’m out of here now.

11a) Resolution (a): I am home, I have Internet, life is good. I shall pet my puppy.

11b) Resolution (b): I am nearly out the door, and the Internet comes back up. Sheepishly make way back to office and pretend I was filing things the whole time.

Care to guess what happened today? Yes! It was 11b.